Thinking about the person most of the day, even when you don’t want to
SPECIALTY
Limerence and Obsessive Attachment Therapy in Oregon
Limerence is an intense, involuntary longing for another person, with intrusive thoughts and a strong need for the feeling to be returned. I offer online therapy in Oregon for adults who want to understand their limerence and loosen its hold.
02 / LIMERENCE
What limerence can feel like
Reading meaning into every message, look or silence
Your mood rising and falling with their attention
Finding it hard to focus on work, sleep or the people around you
Knowing it doesn’t make sense, and still not being able to stop
03 / LIMERENCE
Limerence vs love
Love grows from knowing someone as they are. Limerence is driven by uncertainty and longing, often for someone you don’t fully know, and it can fade quickly once the feeling is returned or the uncertainty ends. The term was introduced by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979.
04 / LIMERENCE
Why limerence happens
For many people, limerence is connected to older attachment wounds or unmet needs: a part of you hoping that this person will finally bring the safety or worth you have been missing. Understanding that part, with curiosity instead of shame, is where change begins.
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How therapy helps
IFS-informed parts work to understand the part of you that longs and the parts that judge it
EMDR, Brainspotting or ART for the memories and wounds underneath
Somatic tools to calm the body when the pull is strong
06 / FAQ
Questions.
Is limerence a mental illness?
No. Limerence is not a diagnosis. It can still cause real pain and get in the way of daily life, and therapy can help.
Can limerence be treated?
Yes. Therapy can help you understand what drives it, work through the wounds underneath and loosen the hold of the intrusive thoughts.
Do you offer limerence therapy online?
Yes, by secure video for adults physically in Oregon. I am in-network with UnitedHealthcare and Aetna.
07 / RELATED
Related pages.
08 / NEXT STEP
Ready to talk?
Email me at [email protected] or use the contact page. I am accepting new clients.